Who is this person and shall I get Botox??

Braine BW-19It seems like a life time that I have actually been able to sit down at my keyboard, and write!  Something that I love doing. With a young family, being a working Mum, married to my Cecil and a renovation on toe – I must say that I have been full throttle, pedal to the metal or you may like to imagine me as busy as a one-legged kick-boxer.

Well it was almost 780 days since I turned 40, FORTY, 39+1!  I woke up on my 40th Birthday, it was a day like any other – however, this particular morning, I lied there and stared at the ceiling and thought to myself “Here I am! 40 is here! I am going down the other side of the hill! I am here! SHIT!  I am here!”.  It was a weird feeling, again it was like most days, but I felt that I had reached an important stage in my life.  I felt happy, a great sense of contentment that my life had fallen the way I had always wanted – happily married to Cecil with three healthy and lovely children, my crazy and loved family all close by and all sharing strong health,  I am surrounded by good and loyal friends and I have a happy home that Cecil and I created together.  I felt a great sense of appreciation that my life was good.

I still don’t believe that I am 40 (+2) years old, however my body is slowly but surely starting to remind me.  I often still feel like that pimply faced school girl standing in the playground – still so indecisive and quite naive and often still doubting myself in many situations. I have an ability to laugh at myself so I have jotted down a few observations of late, maybe you have experienced some of the below?

I enjoy a glass of wine (or two), Nothing nicer than sitting down with Cecil and having some cheese, crackers and a nice bottle of red – it is a real pleasure of life.  Over the last 750 days (approximately) I have observed a weakness –  I have a few glasses of red and then feel the need to fall asleep! With smelly pink fluffy slippers on – I fall asleep, mouth wide open and I start to snore like a trombone. Poor Cecil – he didn’t marry this!  Who is this person!??

The morning after a glass of red (or 2) is equally not as glamorous as I would like to imagine myself!  I wake as though I have been partying for 3 days? Or maybe a steam train DID charge through the wall and run over me? It certainly feels that way.  Or was I abducted by aliens and poisoned by their powers? Did I REALLY eat a bad oyster?  What is going on!?  Who is this person!?? For I did not suffer hang-overs of this kind in my 20’s or 30’s!  I feel close to death……

I love to sleep! Daddy Dottie once proudly told me that if sleeping were a National Sport then I may have made it to the Olympic Games and represented Australia.  I could have won Gold and possibly fallen asleep on the podium.  I can sleep ANYTIME of the day, on any train, in any car, on any plane, at any airport, on any beach, in any climate, on any day, during any movie, in any taxi, on any subway, in any uncomfortable chair, on any hard floor and at any table –  BUT… I cannot sleep in bed at night! Who is this person!??

For I once slept for 12 hours straight, like a happy baby.  However 780 days ago my sleeping statistics showed a drastic decline – I began to suffer from  RESTLESS LEGS!!! Ever had restless legs??  I get restless legs – this is feeling that your legs will not sleep! They just keep dancing, twirling, jolting, twitching and throwing themselves about my bed without me even giving them PERMISSION!  Who is this person!??

I used to be able to read any book with any font size.  However, again, in the last 780 days, I have suddenly had to put my book practically up my nostrils to be able to read it, if I don’t put it up that close – I cannot see the words. I haven’t had to think of wearing spectacles EVER!  I am now quite scared to drive at night, because I am suddenly squinting, almost sitting on the dash-board trying to see out the windscreen.  Who is this person!??

My face. I have started to pout my slitty pathetic lips in photos – I have suddenly become conscious of my lip-line and its reduction over the last 780 days. I am now aware of my position in photos and making sure the camera is at my best angle. I like my crows feet to be hidden by taking the photo from above. My fringe has become thicker , I am not really prepared emotionally for Botox just yet, so I have decided in the interim to thicken up my fringe.  Who is this person thinking of Botox!? Thinking I need a good hit of the stuff! Real soon….Who is this person!??

Never in my life have I been so adamant about adding filters to photos of myself and only ever posting the more favorable photos of myself on social media.

In my 20’s and 30’s I never cared for calories – let alone the fact that you should count them.  Over the last 780 days, I have started counting the dirty suckers.  I know exactly how many I am supposed to consume per day – yet take no notice of this. I can no longer eat like a horse.  Who is this person!??

Whilst driving or tapping my fingers away on a keyboard, I often get glimpses of the tops of my hands! Ewwwww…. they are not my hands! Who pinched my soft hands? Which old lady took my hands and left me hers?  Her dirty dish-washing hands are all I can now see.

My neck, I have two words “GOBBLE GOBBLE”.

My backside, I have another two words “WOBBLE WOBBLE”.

As previously declared, I am no athlete (in my own mind I am true Champion).  However, I do run because I enjoy it. I have noticed a change over the last 740 days or so in my recovery time, in that it now takes me a few days to recover, I now get a piercing pain in my lower back – I never have had to deal with this stuff!  Sometimes I can feel my knees twinging and quite often I just feel as though I am going to fall apart! Yes, legs come off, then my arms, then my head all fall apart all over the road and wait to be collected by the next garbage truck that comes my way!  Who is this person!??

More and more often I am walking into rooms and then getting there and wondering what the hell I went in there for? I sometimes ring my lovely Cecil and then forget why I called him. More frequently I tend to double book myself or sometimes much to my disgrace, I just don’t turn up!  I am having to write myself “To Do” lists both at home and at work! I never did this in my 20’s or 30’s. I once had an incredible memory!  Who is this person!??

For this blog, I cannot suggest a simple solution to any of the above – however all I can say that we get older every second. Embrace your time and embrace those restless legs (I truly believe they do burn calories for you whilst in bed, a positive to look at!). You will never ever find enough Botox to keep your youth (but goodness me it has to be worth a try!?).

As a wise woman once said to me “better to get old than the alternative“. Yep – as I sit here squinting away, starring at these old lady’s hands and smoothing out those deep creases in my forehead – I am reminded – Who am I?  I am ME, I am 42, I look it and I bloody feel it!

Giddy up! I am going to get Botox!

LB 🙂

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